John McCan't

by grannyhelen, Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:32:49 AM EST

Image from SLdkos

John McCain comes in three flavors: red, white and...get off the d*mn lawn!

More jokes from the front lines of Obama-can vs. John McCan't...

I don't know what's more lonely, a pro-McCain blog or a Bob Barr telethon (it's a wrong number, but it still counts as a call!).

The photo on McCain's website looks like it should carry the caption: Now on sale at Big Lots: 3 Shirts for $3.99

McCain couldn't log onto his blog anyway becase he'd spend the entire night pressing "play" on his remote control.

McCain's photo on his donations link shows the Straight Talk Express Bus....leaving. [it does, actually]

McCain's blog has three selections when you log in: Supporter, Undecided or Unregistered voter. If you select Undecided or Unregistered, it hides all of his policies.

The photo on McCain's website looks like it should carry the disclaimer, "Ask your doctor if McCain is right for you."

Now with more flair! Notable quotables from our brothers and sisters at Free Republic, live blogging their reactions to McCan't's speech last night:

To: Right_in_Virginia
Why, oh WHY...does he always sound:

A) Angry

B) Like an automaton

*************

To: CAluvdubya
We are so screwed.

*************

To: MNJohnnie
accepting McLettuce is like being 9 years old and forced to eat your own cooking

*************

To: TADSLOS
Did you hear the news?
Obama's campaign got a new volunteer today. In keeping with his "maverick" credentials and his history of "reaching across the aisle" Senator John McCain endorsed Barack Obama for President today.

OK, not really but he might as well. He is Barack Lite.

For these and more insights into the activist right and their reaction to McCain's speech last night, check out the link: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news /2025581/posts?q=1&;page=1

Many thanks to animated, whose diary yesterday was the impetus for these jokes: http://www.mydd.com/story/2008/6/4/18202 8/8372




Tags: John McCain, 2008 election, humor, Republicans (all tags)

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Theme song suggestions! (2.00 / 3)

...put 'em right here.


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:36:04 AM EST

Outside the Wall? (2.00 / 1)

All alone, or in two's,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.

Of course McCain can stay behind his wall.  The bleeding heart liberals are going to win this year.  It is a sad and lonely place for Republicans, the politics of fear and ignorance have put them on the wrong side of the wall.


Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win. ~ Sun Tzu
by Tumult on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:02:08 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Tear down the Wall! (none / 0)

free associating - my fav Pink Floyd song is "Goodbye Blue Sky"...

...but that doesn't quite fit, not even the muzak version.

Or maybe it does for 100 years of war:

Oooooooo ooo ooo ooooh
Did you see the frightened ones
Did you hear the falling bombs
Did you ever wonder
Why we had to run for shelter
When the promise of a brave new world
Unfurled beneath a clear blue sky
Oooooooo ooo ooooo oooh
Did you see the frightened ones
Did you hear the falling bombs
The flames are all long gone
But the pain lingers on
Goodbye blue sky
Goodbye blue sky
Goodbye
Goodbye


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:08:47 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Tear down the Wall! (2.00 / 1)

Oh Granny,
I rec'd this diary and PRAY it makes it to the rec list.
McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 10:01:09 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Thanks! (none / 0)

It'd be nice if it did...but if it doesn't don't let it stop ya from sharing the jokes with others ;-)


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 10:20:10 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 1)

"John McCain comes in three flavors: red, white and...get off the d*mn lawn!"

"red, white and..." he looked blue standing in front of that green (with envy) background. Just about now, he's wishing he was a Democrat.

I'm thinking his theme song is "Blue Moon."


McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:41:52 AM EST

Aquaman! (2.00 / 1)

How about "It's Not Easy Being Green" ;-)


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:57:54 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Aquaman! (2.00 / 1)

Grannyhelen,
Is the caption for that great photo, "Jeez, where the hell did I put my party?"
McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:04:44 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Great one! (none / 0)

That's awesome - still laughing!


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:10:00 AM EST
[ Parent ]

McCain't (2.00 / 2)

You don't really even have to change the spelling of the name.


Support Regina Thomas, GA-12
by Drew on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:47:41 AM EST

Re: McCain't (2.00 / 2)

Lol. Good one. McCain't win.


McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:54:54 AM EST
[ Parent ]

That does give it a nice Southern flavor (none / 0)

pass the biscuts ;-)


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 08:58:43 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: McCain't (2.00 / 1)

I do believe that's the best nickname that he could possible have.

Here's hoping it becomes as ubiquitous as "dubya".


We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.
by Jess81 on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:01:15 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 1)

I never get tired of watching this.


We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.
by Jess81 on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:03:09 AM EST

Oooo! I saw that one (none / 0)

excellent clip!

side note - I always have trouble posting YouTubes embeds over here - is there any trick?


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:11:16 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Oooo! I saw that one (none / 0)

No, I just cut and paste what they say to cut and paste.


We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.
by Jess81 on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:14:15 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Huh, that's what I do, too... (none / 0)

and it works everywhere else. Will try it again when the moment arises and see if I can get it to work.


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:16:40 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 2)

Coworker pointed out today that any inaugural address given by McCain would most likely end with "Now get off my lawn!"

Almost worth it just for that.  Almost.  But nah.


Proud member of the Wikipedia Generation of American politics
by BishopRook on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:07:46 AM EST

lol - but just imagine the Lawrence Welk (none / 0)

cover band: The Bobbies And Sissies.


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:12:58 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 1)

Despite McCain's numerous drawbacks, he's still ahead of Barack in Gallup's daily tracking poll. Let's just hope there's no new revelations of the Rev. Wright variety, and that he chooses Hillary to be his running mate.


by phoenixdreamz on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:09:22 AM EST

I'd love to see Hil involved in any (2.00 / 1)

facet of this campaign. She's smart, and savvy, and she'd be a great asset.


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:14:32 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Enjoyed your diary btw, thank you (2.00 / 1)

It's so refreshing to see Red State Repubs groaning at their future prospects after enduring 8 years of their unrelenting smug arrogance.


by phoenixdreamz on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:26:13 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Thanks, phoenix...it is rather cathartic (2.00 / 1)

isn't it? But we shouldn't confuse these folks with the saner, disillusioned GOPers who are seriously contemplating voting against their party because of the state of the country.

My dad is one of these folks...and trust me, if they lose my dad and others like him they're done.


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:32:54 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 3)

McCain's been coasting along, but now that the primaries are over, he's got to figure out what to do...and pray Bush doesn't unload any of his usual surprises on him.

You know, it can't be a comforting feeling to be dependent on Bush not missing up further....


McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:27:51 AM EST
[ Parent ]

lol - good point... (2.00 / 1)

...let's all hope Bush tries to "help" him some more...


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:33:55 AM EST
[ Parent ]

heh (none / 0)

I think there's a good chunk of MyDDers who "hope" new revelations come up ASAPx2.


by Slim Tyranny on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:30:45 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: heh (2.00 / 1)

If you're implying I'm among them, you're wrong and whatever. I don't care for echo chamber enviornments or Kool Aid as they tend to instill a false sense of security. I'll never forget the a record number of voters who turned out to kick Bush to the curb in 2004 and failed.


by phoenixdreamz on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:37:21 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 1)

damn why the hell is McCain even running. jeesh. hes so sad and pathetic.

imagine it was just Hill v. Barack for the presidency.haa

damn, McCain shouldnt have even been considered.


"Rankles and Rush Limbaugh, ruining the chaos brand since 2008."
by alyssa chaos on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:28:50 AM EST

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 2)

I agree. I wish it had been Romney, because with McCain, it's kind of like...well...it's hard to be afraid of his political skills. He must have them, but at this point it's almost like, "That's it, that's all you got GOP?"

With Romney, you could always expect something interesting. Remember his "Who let the dogs out?" moment...or his 5 sons doing their part for the war-on the campaign bus?


McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:44:27 AM EST
[ Parent ]

I think there is an aspect of Pity Play to it (2.00 / 1)

Like a basebal game when the season is almost over from a points perspective and it doesn't matter if the team loses, it still isn't getting into the playoffs.

"Let Casey Jones bat.  It's his last season and it doesn't matter what happens at this point, so may as well let the old war-horse have a last moment in the sun."


"Because after an eight-year hiatus it is vital to have a president who leads the country instead of lassoing, roping and branding it." Shaun Appleby
by chrisblask on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 11:02:25 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: John McCan't (2.00 / 1)

Oh my god!  I am so stealing this quote:

accepting McLettuce is like being 9 years old and forced to eat your own cooking


accepting McLettuce is like being 9 years old and forced to eat your own cooking
by Sychotic1 on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:33:20 AM EST

And it comes from a Freeperkins no less! (none / 0)

it has all the markings of a great sig line...


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:35:25 AM EST
[ Parent ]

I read around 200 comments and (2.00 / 1)

was encouraged by the lack of enthusiasm for John McCain.  Hopefully he depresses his base of Freepers who won't vote.

I liked how they were bashing him over the Hot Water  Bottles to babies line, that and their Romney advocacy.

Mitten's for Veep!!


Student Guy=JoeMentum. No really Student Guy=JoeMentum, after all JoeMentum was an embarrassment so is Student Guy. This sig is FAIL!!
by Student Guy on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:41:01 AM EST

Re: I read around 200 comments and (2.00 / 2)

Mittens...that's the best of all the forgotten primary stories...STRAPPED the family dog on top of the station wagon and drove to Canada.

Please McCain, bring back Romney!


McCainuire, The Wrath Of Not Enough Naps.
by catilinus on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:47:28 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Heh. So does that mean... (2.00 / 2)

they would pledge to deliver hot water bottles to family pets strapped on the roofs of cars?


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:52:23 AM EST
[ Parent ]

lol - I don't even get the hot water bottles (2.00 / 1)

to babies...I mean, does anyone actually get that one?

But I guess it's so much better than actually, oh, I don't know, providing them health care through the SCHIP program.


by grannyhelen on Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:50:29 AM EST
[ Parent ]


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